How to be bold? hopefully, this blog will help me find out

I've always dreamed of being a person who builds playful experiences. It started back in high school, when I wanted to be a theme park designer or a 3d animation graphics engineer. I ended up majoring in mechanical engineering to learn how moving things are built. — Time flies. A few years later — Now, I'm building experiences on the web as a developer. The openness and creative possibilities of the web just pulled me in.

To build playful experiences in online spaces (and hopefully offline spaces in the future) and eventually earn big money through them, having my own language of online experiences is crucial if I don't want to be replaceable. It might take a decade of practice, starting from turning abstract words like "I hope the website feels like a warm hug to people" into something tangible. The skills and language definitely take time to mature.

So I quit my very stable job to start my own business building online brand stores. I had a strong feeling that online stores could become a space to experiment with ideas and design playful experiences.

But even after making such a big decision by following my gut, it's still hard to stay bold and ambitious. Maybe it's because every day on Instagram and X, I see countless people who are cool, fashionable, professional and even consistent and diligent. That often makes me ask myself the silliest question: "Do I really have what it takes to do this work?" (a classic self-doubt ending)

One thing is certain: action is the only way forward 😂

For me, this blog is my way of learning how to be bolder. It's a space to record the messy, uncertain journey of finding my place in the world. It's also a playground for experimenting with beauty, creativity, and playfulness, and an archive of chaotic thoughts, interests, and self-doubts along the way.

With Jiji, another editor for Endive Chaos, we've been exploring inspiring digital magazines and blogs, and their designs helped us imagine what our own blog could be. Let me share three of our favorites.

As a place that allows visual experiments on the web and as an archive of our chaotic thoughts, I’m really looking forward to seeing how it evolves. The most important things, especially in the beginning, are honesty — and being consistent, even if it’s slow.